I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
