it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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