I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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