dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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