I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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