it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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