you traded sex for a burrito?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
