Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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