Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize