If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
