Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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