Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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