I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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