i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
