Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
