So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Randomize
