I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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