He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
