maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
