So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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