wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
