We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
