Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
