We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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