she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
