he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
