I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
