I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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