do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My vagina just recognized that song.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
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I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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