He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
is wine microwaveable?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
