my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
