That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
