Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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