the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I will be naked everywhere
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
