Where is the hickey?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
