nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
