Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
