Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
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Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
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I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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