Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
