I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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