Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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