I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize