It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
