I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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