I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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