So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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