can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
