I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
