Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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