Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
how drunk are you?
Several
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
