We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
