I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
