They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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