if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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