I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
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with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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