Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
