i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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