After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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