This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
