I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
