Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
home. puking in laundry basket.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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