an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
